daliandragon's Xanga

Monday, March 13, 2006

Mon, 13 Mar 2006 15:25:03 GMT

Tonight... I Fed.

The moon is bright tonight, illuminating the night in a dazzling spectacle of light and shadow. The clouds fly low... donning her in whisps of black lace. The light and darkness reflect through my eyes. I can feel it growing inside me... the energy.

It comes from deep within. It rises up and flows through me. I struggle to contain it, let alone control it. Who will be the next victim?

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Sun, 12 Mar 2006 14:15:50 GMT

Have I had a "re-charge"?

I've recently returned from my one month vacation back home (to America).

The weather was great!

The clean air, the pre-spring thunderstorms, and the vampires.

I definitely needed it all. mentally... physically... emotionally...

When I got back to China, I promptly got sick.

I felt like "death" for more than a week. Then......

I got better.

I now have NO craving for physical food. All I feel is THIRST.

I made love to HER the other night like it was our first time. We clawed and tore at each other. She screamed so loud that I'm sure the neighbors heard.

I can't get enough! I need more! I need to drain everything around me until it crumbles into ash!

Is this it? Am I comming back? Am I re-awakening from a Winter's slumber?

I hope so!

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Sun, 12 Mar 2006 14:03:07 GMT

It's been a while.

Has it been so long since I've posted to this journal? Has it been so long that I've sat and reflected on who (and what) I am?

Yes, I have been neglecting..... and, it's all because of.... a girl.

I haven't made one post here since I've met her.

How is it that I've been able to hold down a steady relationship for this long?

Is it because I've finally found what I'm looking for? Have I found the "Yang" to my "Yin"? Have I found my "center"? Is my circle finally complete?

I guess that only the future will tell.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Fri, 16 Sep 2005 14:49:52 GMT

I'm back!

It rained today. The overcast sky, the ionized air, the cool drops of rain on my face all brought back to me a feeling which I have not had in a long time. I felt it in me. It took over my senses and emotions. It grew until I couldn't contain it any longer. It was wonderful.

The full moon draws near. I can feel it. It grows stronger day by day. I can feel it in the air. I can feel it in my veins. I can feel it in the beating of my heart.

With every breath I take, I draw in the energy of life. I take it into me and it makes me stronger.

I again feel the world beyond sight.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Thu, 21 Apr 2005 04:45:45 GMT

Well, I did it.

About three weeks ago (or so), I started to go out every night and feed. It is something that I've needed to do for a long time. I would go out to bars and such after work and wouldn't get home until maybe 4:00 in the morning or later.

This behaviour seriously worried my "girlfriend", as she assumed that I was probably cheating on her or some such thing. So, I "came out" to her. I though that I didn't really have anything to loose. Could her reaction really be worse than thinking that I was cheating?

So, I sat down with her one evening and tried to explain everything the best that I could. I also gave her a folder full of papers from years ago when I was researching real-vampirizm for myself.

Things went well, at first. She tried really hard to understand. She asked lots of questions. She tried to accept me as I am.

About a week later, she came to the decision that she could accept my condition. She couldn't, however, accept my actions. She couldn't accept being alone every night, wondering where I was and if I was safe or not. She couldn't accept feeling jealous all the time at all of the attention that I get from women (and the fact that I liked it... and even FED upon it). And, she couldn't accept the fact that I CAN'T stop what I'm doing or it will seriously affect my health in a bad way.

I have to do what I do. I can't stop. I WON'T stop!

So, we mutually decided to separate.

3 days later, I picked up the next "girlfriend".
Should I tell her about what I am? Only when I want to get rid of her.

*** Notice that I use "quotation marks" with the word "girlfriend". This is because my idea of this relationship (at this time) differs from the traditional ideas. Right now, my idea of "girlfriend" denotes a relationship that is more significant than all of the others. This does not, however, denote a feeling of monogamy. Right now, the lines in my relationships are pretty fuzzy. Although, I am always honest to everyone in my ideas and intentions. And I don't cheat!

Friday, March 25, 2005

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 04:54:50 GMT

I can't sleep at night....

I try and try. I toss and turn. Nothing will work. But, come morning, I can't awake. I spent 3 hours getting out of bed yesterday. Damnit!

I try to take a nap every day from 2:00 to 3:00pm to ease the malaize, but I just wake up dizzy with a headache. I hunger not for food. I yearn not for the company of my lover. I just THIRST.

I need to HUNT. I need to LIVE.

Once again, I'm teaching Martial Arts and working out on a daily basis. All of my friends and collegues are commenting on how much I change, physically, every week. If they only knew....

Friday, March 11, 2005

Fri, 11 Mar 2005 06:05:42 GMT

It's finally happened.....

It seems that, all of a sudden, my sleeping pattern changed. I'm now into my summer time sleep rhythm... can't sleep at night, can't stay awake in the day (as opposed to winter's "sleep all the time").

However, there is a "side-effect". I've been depressed for the last few days. There's no reason, it's just one of those hormone things. I hope to get over it in a few days. As for now, I'll just enjoy the lonely reflection.

Interesting things are happening to my biology. I hope it all keeps up.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Tue, 08 Mar 2005 09:25:30 GMT

The weather has taken another good turn, and so has my health. I feel like I am awakening from a winter's slumber. I find myself constantly stretching my muscles like a cat. I've lost all apetite for physical food. I eat one small meal a day (because I have to). Other than that, I just snack on fruit (mostly citrus) and raw veggies once in a while. Also, I'm drinking water by the gallon.

Soon, I think it will be time for a (long overdue) hunt!

Monday, February 28, 2005

Mon, 28 Feb 2005 02:53:38 GMT

Strange things a-brewin'

Well, another full moon has come and gone (and so, the spike in my bio-rhythm). I've been travelling a bit this past month, having fun and relaxing. I've been feeling a bit strange (physically) lately, though. I feel as if I'm inside a cocoon or something. I know it sounds strange, but I don't know any other way to describe it.....just weird.

Anyway, so I'm back now. But a couple of strange things have happened lately.

1. So, I'm laying in the master bedroom, studying Chinese... and my new Primary Donor is talking to me from the livingroom. All of a sudden she screams and yells: "Oh, mi god! Where are you?" to which I reply: "I'm here, in the bedroom, studying." She runs in to me and gasps: "I just saw you in the guest bedroom playing the guitar. I was standing there looking at you and talking to you." She couldn't stop shivering for hours after that.

2. It's happened for 3 days in a row now. I've even been doing experiments with it. It seems that whenever I touch my television (in any spot), it spontaneously turns on. And, sometimes, all it takes is for me to be close to the TV. It doesn't happen to ANYONE else who tries it. Am I carrying around too much electrical type energy that's effecting my electrical appliances?

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 08:32:53 GMT

Moon...Moon...Moon!

Yeah baby! The moon is out and I'm a crazy man! It's been so bright lately. I love it! I need to hunt...to feed.... I am alive!